Emotional Intelligence and effective Communication

We all know them, either from our daily work or from our private lives, these people who are really good listeners. No matter the situation, they always seem to find the right words and know exactly how to say it - without offending anyone. They are considerate and spread optimism.

We also know people who are able to control their emotions really well. They don’t get angry in stressful situations. Instead, they see it as an opportunity to analyze the problem and take their time to find a solution. They are excellent decision-makers and know when to trust their intuition. In spite of their strengths, however, they are usually willing to be honest with themselves. They handle criticism well and are able to constantly improve their performance.

People like these have a high level of emotional intelligence called EQ (Emotional Quotient). What is the definition of Emotional Intelligence and what distinguishes the EQ from cognitive intelligence IQ?

With these questions, our expert Harald Seidler started the 8th event at Adobe on the subject of emotional intelligence and effective communication. He is the founder of Flow Promotion - Health and Performance Management and has 25 years of marketing and training experience.

A simple definition of EQ describes the ability to recognize one’s own feelings as well as the feelings of others and to use this emotional information to guide one's own thinking and behavior to influence others.

We use emotional intelligence when we empathize with our employees or have an intensive discussion with people important to us. It enables us to better understand ourselves, to be a careful listener and to live a more authentic and happy life. The IQ, on the other hand, is cognitive intelligence, which people are generally most familiar with, as it is commonly measured by testing.

Our expert explained to us that EQ and IQ are not interdependent and EQ generally increases with age and can be trained. The success of a manager depends 80% on his emotional intelligence, only about 10% of the cognitive intelligence and about 10% of his technical abilities.

It becomes clear that this is a very personal topic and you have to first analyze yourself to find out how high your own EQ is and how well you can assess yourself. The EQ Model illustrates the five main components of emotional intelligence: self-perception, self-expression, interpersonal, decision making and stress management.
We started trying to divide 100% of our working day into the four zones of the so-called Emotional Landscape: Survive, Performance, Burnout and Regeneration. The level of stress should not be constantly increased throughout the day, because the time for performance and recovery are crucial levels that we need to stay healthy and to be efficient.

Harald explained the DisC Model, which distinguishes four different types of people. The dominant, who is very work-oriented and extroverted. His strengths are control, leadership and facing challenges. However, he runs the risk of ignoring others and overlooking details. The initiative likes to be in the middle, is also extroverted and a very good team player. He takes the initiative, is very optimistic and motivating. He is afraid of disapproval and of losing his influence. The steady type is described as calm, predictable and consistent. Collaboration motivates him and he fears changes. The compliance type loves detail, is a critical thinker and is fact-oriented. He has trouble delegating tasks and takes criticism very personally.

In order to classify ourselves, we performed a test: we had to rate adjectives and the sums were assigned to the four types. The results showed us our personal tendencies towards one of them - which led to some big surprises!
There are no ideal types, they all have their strengths and weaknesses. Knowing your own type as well as the type of the person in front of you, however, gives us enormous advantages in effective communication. As a concrete example: When negotiating with a type D Dominant, you should communicate clearly and get straight to the point. You lose them if you waste their time or try to make small talk. In a practical exercise in pairs, we tried to move the person by pushing them only by their wrist, which was really difficult. Harald showed us that this was quite easy if we pulled them slowly instead of pushing them away.

Just as in communication – if we know our counterpart, if we understand his type and his emotions, if we are attentive listeners and are able to respond to the person, then we become one of those people who always find the right words.